This was a hard post to write. Not because I could not think of a weakness, but because I could not point out any one weakness as my “biggest”. And what is meant by “biggest”? Isn’t size relative? And I have always been told that size doesn’t matter. Was I being lied to all these years?

Anyway, back to the post. I tried to apply some root cause analysis to as many of my weaknesses as possible. For each weakness I identified I would first ask if it was a personality trait. If not, then I would check to see if it was the result of a childhood experience (or, say, trauma). Then it would be a quick check to see if the identified weakness is actually a strength (which is impossible, really) followed by a check to see if the weakness is simply a result of my being distracted or bored.

By far the majority of my weaknesses are attributed to the fact that I always think I can do everything.

At the end of my Senior year in High School we were having the awards banquet for the Spring sports. I was on the varsity baseball team which is my way of saying I was on the bench most of the year. And with good reason, I could never bat my weight. But I was always very confident in my ability to play the field. I was always thinking to myself “what will I do if the ball is hit to me”, which is a great way to make certain you know exactly what to do when the ball arrives. You can also change where you are standing depending on the count and the expected pitch; moving five feet right or left can be the difference between a routine catch and a diving stab.

During the banquet I was called up and given an extra large helmet. This thing was huge, XXXL size, I had never seen it before and don’t know were the coach found it. But he gave it to me an explained to everyone why. “It’s for his head, because all season long while sitting on the bench whenever a ball was hit that landed in play Tom would say ‘I could have gotten that one’”. As soon as he said those words I immediately thought of a handful of times when I did say exactly that, but most of the time it was just a joke. Still, we all had a good laugh that night but I always think back to that moment because that is when I realized that (1) I do think I can get to the ball and (2) not everyone wants to hear what I think.

Maybe it is because I am the youngest of four children and that I am always trying to show others that I can do the same things they can do. I don’t know, really. But to this very day I have confidence in my abilities and confidence in my future abilities as well. I once had a close friend who seemed rather put off by my attitude that good things were going to happen to me in my lifetime. She could not understand why I felt that way about myself. Well, if I don’t have confidence in me, who will?

But having such confidence became a root cause for other weaknesses. For example, I think I can do everything. All the time. And all at once. I have been spreading myself too thin for most of my adult life. It has been rare for me to only have one thing to focus on at a time. I am often involved deeply in three or four projects at a time. And when I get spread too thin then all of my work suffers. Most people function best when allowed to focus on no more than two tasks at the same time, and yet I overload myself with up to a dozen items at once.

And I think this confidence has also made me very competitive. Very. I hate losing, but I am not a poor loser. I’ll just make you play again until I win at least once. This competitive nature can cause me to butt heads, especially in the IT world, but I am getting better at dealing with those emotions.

And in a weird twist, this confidence and competitiveness also means that I get an inferiority complex and so I spend a lot of time trying to learn more and more about everything I can so that I can hold my own against anyone else. In anything. It doesn’t matter what, I want to learn as much as possible about it so that I can use that knowledge to make the right decisions at the right time. Some people will call that experience. I call it preparation for the right opportunity. But it means that I end up spending far too much extra time in front of a computer even when I am not in the office.

Which means that, as a result of my thinking I can do everything, I am not spending enough time with my family, which is the most important thing I should be doing. No question that this weakness is having the largest impact possible both inside and outside the office.

I have lost track of who has been tagged so far, so I will tag Colin Stasiuk (@BenchmarkIT), Jorge Segarra (@SQLChicken), and Ken Simmons (@kensimmons).

And so I was introduced to Twitter back in the summer of 2008 by Brent Ozar (blog | twitter). I had no idea what Twitter was about. I remember signing up, reading a few random tweets from people I didn’t know, and thinking it was an incredible waste of time. I went dark for a few weeks, not tweeting and sometimes checking in on my stream through the web interface. Since I was not following many people, it was not very interesting. I got to see how many times Brent would stop at a Cracker Barrel when driving between Texas and Michigan. Yeah, it was really that exciting.

I believe the turning point for me was when I realized that there were actual applications that I could use to make my using Twitter easier than the web interface. I used Twhirl for a few weeks before I moved onto Tweetdeck where I have stayed ever since (and yes, I have tried Seesmic when it first came out but not recently). Once I got hold of an application my Twitter usage took off. It just made it easier for me to use Twitter.

So, I started following a bunch of SQL professionals. I also started following some celebrities. And I would also follow people who were following others. And follow people who followed me. And before I knew it I was following about 400 people. My stream was just filled with too much noise so I cut back and I am now down to about 280. And Tweetdeck allows for me to group the people I follow which means I can cut through the noise and just focus on specific tweets from IT professionals, which has greatly enhanced the ability for me to do my job as a DBA.

Along the way I found out something else about Twitter and tweets. See, the best tweets, as @badbanana said during an interview recently, are ones that have a twist to them. And he is right. It is an art form, stuffing a creative and witty thought into 140 characters. And when my geek colleagues are able to work in a twist with something related to databases, well, that’s good stuff right there.

Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less is a book filled with some of the best tweets with a twist. Congress (blog | twitter) was given a copy recently and I picked it up and went cover to cover, enjoying the art form that was being laid out in black and white before my eyes. Here are some fine examples:

“Why should I be the one to take the kids to see their psychologist? I don’t even love them!” @Fireland

“Why aren’t martini glasses shaped so that they don’t spill so easily on the bus?” @pagecrusher

“It’s happened: I have developed real emotions for my iPhone. Actually, it’s no surprise, because I was raised by a TV and a microwave.” @Stuartpaap

“Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.” @thepeoplegeek

My only regret is that I wish Congress would have handed me the book right before I left for PASS this Sunday, so that I could have read it on the plane. Then again, people would have probably gotten tired of my laughing after the first few hours. If you enjoy using Twitter then you would enjoy this book. I have added it to my library, placing it on my Professional Development bookshelf.

And it is also that time of year I would dare say that this makes for a great stocking stuffer. But so does bacon, so be careful not to put bacon and this book in the same stocking. It would be harder to read afterwards, but it would smell great forever.

Remember how I had a list of people I was hoping to meet at PASS for the first time? Well, I finally figured out a date and time to meet with them. Everyone is welcome to join me before, during, or after Don’s session. The before works fine for me, the after works really well because I can practice all the Jedi mind tricks he is going to show me for only $60.

Yeah, that’s right for only $60 I am going to get a focused two hour seminar with a networking expert. Need proof of his ability to work miracles? Have you talked with Andy Warren recently? That guy is a walking billboard for Don Gabor right about now. Remember how Andy scared the hell out of anybody around him? Now he only makes them a little bit nervous, that’s how far Don has taken him in such a short amount of time. Imagine how far Don can take yourself!

I am very much a shy person and can use all the help I can get when it comes to working a room. And even if you are not looking to work a room, Don is going to teach you skills that can help with more personal situations, say when you are in a meeting with only two or three people. You will learn how to carry a conversation (great for meetings), how to present yourself (great for interviews), and how to follow up and build lasting business relationships (just great).

So, I will ping that gang of mine and see if they want to meet before or after, but I really hope I can convince them to attend the seminar with me. The idea of going to a networking event to meet complete strangers scares the hell out of me. I would feel much safer if I knew I was going there to meet up with a bunch of people I have met online in the past year because Chris Hansen has shown me just how safe that can be these days.

A while back I wrote a post about why I do not like newsgroups, and how much better the MVP forums are. Some comments were left that indicated I was being an ass for telling people just how great things are now that I am on the other side. Sorry about that, it was not my intent. And no, you don’t have to spend your life in those newsgroups and forums in order to become an MVP, I am proof of that.

Ok, let’s all move forward, shall we? Great, because I have some good news.

Twitter is awesome.

Seriously.

Right now I am following about 300 database professionals. Some are MVPs, most are not. But time and again I see interactions between these professionals the remind me how great it is to be a part of this community. Sure, the private newsgroups are good, but they are no Twitter. So, for those that felt I was being rude to talk about a wonderful private forum, let me tell you about an even better public forum. Get on Twitter and run through the list of people I am following. Even if you just listen in on their discussions you stand to learn quite a lot.

As much as I enjoy browsing the MVP forums for some interesting discussions, I enjoy Twitter a lot more. I can get a lot of good information from both but Twitter seems to be better at giving me some perception on the personality of the person behind the messages.

Anyway, the question is easy: How did I get started as a DBA?

It is a fair question, one that comes up infrequently, but always makes for a nice trip down memory lane. And while I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I decided I wanted to become a DBA, I can recall a series of events that led me to this very seat.

First, I was always good at mathematics. Not that being good at math has anything to do with being a DBA. Rather, being good at mathematics led me to refine my analytical skills, and those skills are quite valuable no matter what your profession. Along the way as I grew older I was fascinated by computers to varying degrees. I went to graduate school to get an MS in mathematics and then landed a job as…a programmer. Yep, working the Powerbuilder on top of Informix. You got a problem with that?

Now, as I learned more and more about programming, I also learned more and more about databases. I started putting together my own little databases for various scenarios, just to understand more about how they worked. I was sent to a Sybase ASE class (I still have those manuals!), and after some time I took that knowledge to my next job, which was now Powerbuilder on top of Oracle.

Have you ever heard about the salaries that Oracle DBA’s get? At some point I expressed an interest to my supervisors that I wanted to know more about Oracle database administration. More importantly I wanted to know more about how to make more money than the scraps they were paying me. Needless to say, that never happened. After my brief stay there I landed here, still working as a programmer (Powerbuilder on top of Sybase this time), and still wondering about database administration.

After a year or so my manager mentioned that they were looking to bring a DBA on board, and I went to the manager responsible for hiring the DBA’s and told her I wanted the job. She laughed in the most polite way possible and told me they were going to bring in someone else. However, they were looking to get some people trained as junior DBA’s, and she would keep me in mind for that. The person they brought in was Frank, my mentor, who proceeded to offer me valuable in-house training to help me get started.

After about a year or so, Frank moved on. Actually, he and the other DBA we had at that time both gave notice during the same week. I was offered the chance to take on the DBA responsibilities. That was over five years ago. Since then I have attained my certifications, been involved with PASS, and met some truly wonderful people.

So, how did I get started? Well, I was able to find the things I was interested in (database design, performance tuning, etc.), and then find ways to get training in those areas, and then find an opportunity to apply that training. Once I got my foot in the door, I have worked even harder to keep my skills sharp, always looking to improve upon what I know today. When I go home at night I ask my children if they learned anything new today, the same question I ask myself when I am driving home, because I always want to be moving forward.

It has not been easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, right?

Because I dare not break the chain, I am tagging the following bacon-loving professionals:

Kendal Van Dyke (@SQLDBA)

Aaron Alton (@AaronTheHOBT)

Tim Ford (@SQLAgentMan)

Would you consider posting a question about a particular food item and placing it on the bulletin board that is hanging on the wall as you walk out of the grocery store? What good would that do you anyway? If you post a question it is when you are on your way out and usually you are not allowed to enter that same way so you would not get an answer until the next time you exit the store (unless you break the rules by walking in through the out door), and by that time the answer would not be helpful until the next time you reenter the store. Honestly, it is about the most inefficient way I can think of to get an answer to a nutritional question, and yet I would still rather do that than go to any nutritional newsgroup on the Internet.

So, why do people use forums or newsgroups? Because they want information about something. They want good, quality answers, from people they can trust. On the other hand, they have no idea who these people are, and often times accept answers that are simply wrong. So, why do you believe it when a stranger tells you that it is okay to live on coffee and cigarettes but you scoff at your doctor who tells you that you are slowly killing yourself? “Forget you doc, because papa_doc told me online last night that it is okay to keep up with the smoking, and he knows what he is talking about because he has a website and all you have is a diploma hanging on the wall. How do I know that diploma is even real?”

So, let me sum up all the reasons why I abhor newsgroups.

1. It takes too long to get an answer, especially if you need an answer quickly.
2. Sometimes, people are quite rude.
3. Most times, the answers are flat out wrong.
4. Many questions are not being asked in the right forums.
5. Moderators spend far too much time moving questions between forums.
6. End users get frustrated when their questions are moved.
7. You do not know who you can trust.
8. You can review threads later, but have no idea which answer was correct.

Actually, I could go on, but you get the idea. Now, I know not all forums are like this. For example, I enjoy reading the questions and answers on StackOverflow. But I am not there every day, trying to answer questions. When I do stop by a lot of the questions have already been answered anyway, usually by Brent Ozar.

So, why do I love the private MVP forums? Because they are everything anyone could ever hope for in a newsgroup.

When I troll the MVP forums all I find are courteous people, with great questions and wonderful answers. I find a community of people, dedicated to helping others, also helping each other. It has been a great experience to be able to participate in these forums. It is a way to connect with a focused group of professionals in a very specific manner. Similar to me posting a question about bacon right in the section of the grocery store where they sell the bacon. You know only people interested in bacon would ever be looking there, and those are the people you want to connect with anyway.

If newsgroups were people, the MVP forums would be the boy you want to date your daughter.

To date I have not answered any question in the MVP forums yet. Why? Because they are usually answered already by the time I get there. But I know my time will come, and I will be able to help another MVP with something.

The question this time around is:

Who has been a great leader in your career and what made them a great leader?

Chris usually has very good questions, and so is this one. It really made me stop and think about all the people in my life, not just as a professional but personal as well. I tried to think about all the qualities that I would attribute to a great leader and realized that my answer is not going to revolve around specific people as it will specific traits.

“To lead is to serve”

I went to a Catholic college. I didn’t know it was a Catholic school until I took a drive to visit after having made my decision and I saw the huge church on the corner. I figured I could suck it up for four years anyway, after all what is the worst that can happen? Well, one of the benefits of that education happened to be the people that surrounded me. One of which was Bob. Bob worked the front desk in the residence hall my sophomore year, the first year I became a Resident Assistant. Bob was also a Deacon, I believe, and he offered various insights to a lot of different things in this world. One of which was the above quote.

At this point in my life I was taking on various roles that required me to be a leader. I was an RA, I was starting to coach basketball, I was tutoring other students in math, and Bob was there to help me when I needed it most. He had a way of making certain I would keep things simple. “To lead is to serve” he would tell me. He also told me how my degree is only a measurement of work, nothing more. He just had a way of keeping everything simple, which then allowed me to focus on the basics, which has helped me during all these years in between.

Along the way I have come across more than a handful of people that follow what Bob preached to me. They do not use his exact words, but I see it in their actions. They serve others.

Leaders Should Inspire Others

They need to have the ability to motivate, to get other people to do things, sometimes things they do not want to do. For different people this will mean different things. When I was coaching basketball I quickly saw how I would have a dozen different people with very different motivations. When I was teaching Math 101 to seventy college freshman, it was the same thing, just on a different scale. The best leaders I have had in my life are able to recognize this and overcome this. They have the ability to motivate groups of people at a time, regardless of their motivations. How? Quite often it is a simple as leading by example.

I hate being on call. I would prefer to leave my work at work and not be answering emails, especially complaints, on nights and weekends. There is no worse feeling to me than to be with my family and have my blackberry full of emails on a Saturday afternoon about some deployment that has gone horribly wrong. However, what would my team think of me if I just took my name out of the rotation?

To lead is to serve.

If I had to think about some of the people in my life that have been able to inspire or motivate me, it would actually be more about the people before I became a professional. My father, for one, and his father were quite inspirational for me. They set me on a path and others along the way kept me sailing, such as my manager Vinny, or the one I will always call “coach”, my good friend Chris.

Leaders Are Always Looking To Improve Something

No doubt, a leader is never satisfied with what they have, they are always looking to make improvements in whatever areas are necessary. Often times this is because they are listening to the people they lead, otherwise they would not be giving them much service if they did not. So, if the people are unhappy with something, say handing over billions of dollars in bailout funds for companies that pay their executives huge bonuses, their leaders will stand up and say “we need to fix this”. A simpler example would be working with a basketball team you always want your best five on the floor. If something is not working, you will find ways to improve individual skills so that you can put players in spots on the floor that allow for them to be successful not just for themselves but for the team.

Good leaders will be able to inspire you to improve yourself. Vinny certainly did that for me, but so does my wife and family.

Leaders Need Patience

I was always short on patience until I had my children. Now I am only sometimes short on patience. Good leaders are always patient. They understand that motivating others, inspiring them to become better, serving them in various ways, are all things that take time. You plant seeds and wait for something to grow. Like Mr. Miyagi, you spend time trimming that Bonsai tree, or catching flies with chopsticks.

I am now tagging:

Aaron Alton

Jeremiah Peschka

Grant Fritchey

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN

Michelle agreed to do the email exchange interview and I am actually quite stunned she would even talk to me especially after having written that whole “Weird Science” post back in February. In fact, I am surprised anyone returns my emails these days. But she did and I am glad to have the chance to get to know her outside of just reading her fantastic blog posts. So, let’s get started.

SB: How long have you been with GoDaddy?

MFU: 2 years in July.

SB: What is your current job title, role, and responsibilities?

MFU: Senior SQL Server Developer DBA. Yeah, it’s a mouth-full. I work with some of our largest databases here at the company and am responsible for 2 TB’s worth of data. I can’t tell you the specifics, but we gather and process a phenomenal amount of data, very very quickly.

SB: Nice try, thinking you could hide behind some NDA or something. But I know that during the Super Bowl you were responsible for handling 27k transactions per second. Are you aware that everyone considers you to be “the” performance tuning expert right now? Even Pinal Dave is using your stuff!

MFU: Wow! No, I wasn’t aware, but I’m flattered. Performance tuning VLDB’s for Super Bowl sort of forced me to take my performance tuning to the next level. Though I wouldn’t consider myself “the” performance tuning expert, I definitely enjoy it. I feel honored that Pinal would write an article about my index defrag script. It’s that type of wonderful feedback that makes blogging and community involvement so rewarding.

SB: What is it like working for GoDaddy? Do those girls in the ads have their own cubicles, or offices?

MFU: It’s an awesome company. The GoDaddy girls don’t regularly come into the office, but they are definitely there for company events, such as the company holiday party. Most people get a chance to meet Danica Patrick or Candice Michelle at some point.

The corporate environment is pretty casual; jeans and t-shirts are the usual attire. By contrast, the turn-around time on projects is pretty quick, so work stays interesting. The company has a lot of great perks, such as our yearly in-company technical conference, called GD TechFest, where they fly every technical employee to Phoenix for a day of geek speak and go-cart racing. They also have a monthly employee appreciation day, where they take us out for events like mini-golf or paintball, all on the company’s dime and time.

SB: Is GoDaddy hiring? Forget it, with you, why would they need anyone else?

MFU: Yes, we’re definitely hiring! GoDaddy’s been growing steadily, despite the economy. And I’m only one of many; I’m fortunate to work with many wonderful and very knowledgeable SQL Server DBA’s.

SB: Do you belong to any user groups or professional associations?

MFU: Yes, I’m the founding President of the I380 Corridor PASS Chapter. I’m also a member of the PASS Performance SIG, SSWUG, and Cedar Rapid’s INETA Chapter.

SB: Are there lots of geeks in Iowa? I know I don’t usually think of it as a place for the tech-folk to gather, but it seems like a lot of interesting work is being done in the Heartland these days.

MFU: You know, I’m not an Iowa native, so I’ve been surprised to learn just how many geeks are out here. I’ve even heard Cedar Rapids called the “Silicon Valley of the Midwest.” I know, it’s hard to believe. But there does seem to be a high concentration of geeks per square mile. Maybe it has something to with the number of tech companies here.

SB: You call yourself “SQL Fool”, why the moniker? Do you know, or know of, Mr. T by any chance?

MFU: “Fool” can mean several things. My definition of choice is “an ardent enthusiast who cannot resist an opportunity to indulge an enthusiasm.” I think this describes how I feel about SQL Server pretty well. Another definition can be “an idiotic person.” I like the ambiguitiy; readers of my blog are free to use the definition of their choice. And yes, I know who Mr. T is… in fact, that’s the 2nd time I’ve been asked that same question in about 2 months

SB: Yes it is clear to most that you are indeed a “fool” when it comes to all thing MS SQL Server. You even think about SQL while shopping for groceries. What other interests do you have outside of the obvious tech-geek?

MFU: I used to play World of Warcraft, but one day it occurred to me just how much time I was *wasting* with it, so I now devote that time instead to the SQL community. But I’m a gamer at heart, so I get my “fix” by playing games like Rockband with my family. In my remaining free time, I can either be found reading (usually Sci-Fi/Fantasy) or spending time with my wonderful husband and step-daughter.

For more information on Michelle, check out her blog a http://sqlfool.com.

Right around the last time a request like this came before my eyes I noticed a posting in one of the groups I belong to on LinkedIn. It was from a man named Greg Robidoux and he was asking for people to step forward and submit ideas for MSSQLTips.com. I then recalled that Tim Ford was currently writing for that website, so I contacted Tim to ask a few questions and I figured I would dive into the msdb and piece together a script that someone may find useful.

I have scratched my way through the msdb for backup information, as have a host of others. I have built dynamic scripts that pulled pieces of the msdb together in order to automate restores, as have others. But until recently I never went looking in the msdb for restore information. I guess I never had a reason to do so until I found a way to not only help the community but to feed my bacon compulsion. Now that I think of it, Greg is either just as crazy as I am, or very desperate for material, or he was completely impressed with my current MVP status and Microsoft Points. If you so desire to be paid in bacon and have your name next to mine, then contact Greg here. Tell him I sent you. You’re both welcome.

If you want the script and the screenshots for my first tip, go here. And while you are there, check out the other great tips by the other great authors. And then do what I like to do, rank your top ten authors and keep track of what they do on a weekly basis in the intertubz. Then on Mondays update your rankings. It’s an easy way to keep the feeling of the NCAA basketball season going all year long.

1. Most people arrived on Sunday, some on time, some not.
2. People were crammed onto buses.
3. In the midst of a recession, the salad dressing was made from salmon.
4. People talked about vaginas. Possibly their own, most likely about others.
5. They ran out of beer on the first night. Mostly due to people taking more than their fair share. Or fighting with bears, not really sure.
6. People tweeted about their NDA, and complained about the food. But some people who clearly do not get out much thought it was good.
7. One keynote had speech to text captioning, which was not always perfect.
8. Apparently, DBA now stands for “Default Blame Acceptor”.

So, with all that in mind I am being led to believe that this “Summit” of MVP designates is nothing more than some type of rather large customer advisory board. They tap people as an MVP, have them whisked away to Seattle, sit them down, show them shiny things, solicit feedback, shove salmon down their throats, and say “see you next year”?

I am not buying it. Not for a second. I know there is something more sinister at hand here. Microsoft is poised to take over the world, and these people are the foot soldiers, pawns if you will, in the game of World Domination. Trust me, I have spent my adult life fighting crime and the idea of a company looking to take over the world is not new. There are too many holes in their story. For example, they go out of their way to remind people about their NDA, but make no mention about if it is OK to discuss the plans you see in your SQL MVP sessions with the plans being shown to the Operations Manager MVP’s in their sessions. Assuming the NDA extends to all sessions and all attendees, then you would start to get a sense that there is some type of Manhattan Project going on here, with each group being fed just enough information to carry out their role, and no more.

Only a few people at the top know the whole story, but what is the top anyway? Is there an organization chart that shows where the MVP’s would sit? Of course not, no cabal is going to publish such information. So we are left to speculate as to the how Microsoft will go about taking over the world, most likely by converting our currencies to Microsoft Points as a first step. After all, is it any coincidence that on the eve of the MVP Summit the global markets tumbled yet another five percent? 

Of course not. It’s all part of the plan.

So, go ahead MVP’s, keep tweeting about how much fun you are having, about how you can’t tell us about the things you see on the screen, or about how much you hate the food, or the bus. Or about how the WiFi keeps going out and you seem to be oblivious to the fact that someone is clearly tracking your conversations. I’m not buying it.

At least, not yet.