I can schedule a meeting! I can have a meeting with my colleagues in Boulder, but they won’t get to see me point with a stick. So, I am going to start scheduling meetings with my family instead. We can eat donuts, look at some charts that show our playtime trends, and I get to feel important again. Win-win, I say.

Technically the rules for this chainpost do not call for me to recall a MacGyver moment only from my IT history. As such, many of my moments come from coaching. I would gladly recount for you the time we came from seven points down with two minutes to play, quite possibly my best coaching moment ever, but I doubt you want to read about that. I could tell you about the fantasy football website I built in ASP.NET on top of MS Access ’97 and the late nights I put in trying to figure out a way to enforce the league rules by building various arrays, but that doesn’t seem too exciting either. And there are the handful of times I have coded a solution that helped streamline one thing or another, but it really doesn’t strike me as “MacGyver-esque”.

So, I decided to think about someone who is like MacGyver in real life. Someone who constantly makes something out of nothing and is able to get himself out of seemingly any situation. Watch this video and you’ll agree how nothing we do in IT can compare to what a real MacGyver would do in real life while thinking of England.

I’m tagging Kevin Kline, and only Kevin Kline, because I don’t want to hear him whine anymore.

Last night I witnessed an incredible game as well. No, it was not even close to the drama surrounding the events of thirty years ago. Last night showed me how much I love Olympic hockey. With fewer commercial interruptions and teams playing as if every game truly matters, the end result is often end-to-end action. Last night we got to see two of the top teams meet during group play. If we are lucky, we will get to see these two teams meet again next Sunday.

But that’s not why I am writing this post. This post is about the empty net goal by Ryan Kesler (who happens to play for the Vancouver Canucks in the NHL). The effort displayed by Kesler was nothing short of amazing, and it made me think about luck, preparation, and opportunity. Watch the video for yourself. You’ll see Kesler start his sprint down the ice for the puck, giving every ounce of energy he had, and getting in position to swipe at the puck towards the goal:

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/assetid=e51ac19b-50fb-4853-8bfa-37a60b767cc1.html

Some can look back and say “lucky goal”. But I know better. Kesler has sprinted down the ice thousands of times in his life. This one was different. This was his moment. This was his time. It wasn’t luck. He was born to be a hockey player. He was prepared. He saw his opportunity. The previous 59 minutes didn’t really matter, everyone knows Canada can play better than they did yesterday and in six days we may find out that harsh reality, all that matters is watching one man give everything he had to make one play. I could watch video of that play again and again.

And I can also watch this one again and again:

Happy anniversary Team USA, and thank you for the inspiration you have provided to me for the past thirty years. Any time I think about what it truly takes to be a team, I think of you.

Clearly this is a sign. Why else would I keep getting fortunes with the word ‘bing’ on them? And how many more can I expect to come across? How much more Chinese food must I consume to collect the entire set?

So, ’bing’ not only means disease, but it also means ‘cold’. But not cold as in ‘I have a cold’, which would logically follow along the idea of having  disease or sickness. No, this is more like cold as in ice. Which means to me that when I eventually visit China there is a good chance that I am going to order a Coke with ice only to get back a Coke with tuberculosis instead.

This year I am also adding something new. Yesterday over at HPC, Tara Hunt wrote about using a themeword for the coming year as opposed to writing down resolutions. So, I am going to “borrow” that concept and set down a themeword for myself as well as list out some goals that I believe align with my themeword.

My themeword for 2010 is going to be: COACH. I want to spend 2010 helping others as much as possible. How do I plan on doing that? Well, I need to help myself a bit and then to help others a lot more.

Serving the PASS community

I managed to actually win an election a few months back, so this one is already on my plate. Still, there are some distinct items for me to achieve this year and by doing so I should be able to provide value to others. In the coming weeks I hope to be able to write more about the specific tasks I will have assigned to me for the upcoming year.

Finish my 2008 MCITP certifications

I only have one exam to go, so maybe this one is not much of a reach. But what I want to do afterwards is reaching quite far: I want to obtain the MCM certification for SQL 2008. After I finish my last MCITP exam I will start up on the MCM reading list. You’ll be hearing more about my progress on the list, I hope. And should I complete the MCM I hope to use the knowledge to better my company and to help others in the SQL community as well.

Find 3 people to mentor

I have probably 6-7 mentors right now, but I am not currently mentoring anyone else. I’m not sure why that would be the case right now, but I recognize the need to be giving back what I have learned. So I will be looking to take on this role in the coming months.

Complete the NYC marathon

I completed it back in 2006, and I have my entry for 2010 secured already. Why do it again? Well, because I want to finish it in under four hours. And because it is New York City, and a fabulous event despite all that happened the first time around. I have already started my training for this one; I have altered my diet and I am slowly building a base for weekly mileage so that I am ready to hit the road when the weather turns warm. If I get lucky I will complete the Hartford Marathon three weeks prior to NYC as part of my training program. If I get unlucky then I will just go to NYC and walk the 26.2 miles, just to be a part of the event.

Oh, and the PASS Summit is the same week as the NYC Marathon. I doubt I will be arrive in Seattle early this year but promise to get there as soon as I am able.

What does this have to do with coaching? It is mostly self-discipline. I cannot ask others to do things that I have not tried myself. If I want others to have focus, patience, and self-discipline, then I should practice what I preach. Running helps me to achieve that.

Become a better father

No list of mine is complete without including my family obligations in some way. A lot of the above activities are going to take me away from my family for periods of time. So I will need to make a concentrated effort to make sure family time is included in my routine. On top of that, I need to make certain it is quality time. So many times I look back on my interactions with my children and I think “I could have handled that better”. While I recognize I will never be perfect, I need to start taking those mental notes of mine and put them into actions. Every father needs to coach their children, every day.

That should be more than enough to keep me busy for the next year.

I am tagging Brent Ozar (@BrentO), Jeremiah Peschka (@peschkaj), Tim Ford (@SQLAgentman), and Jason Massie (@statisticsio).

What better way to review this past year than to grab some movie quotes? Well, I couldn’t think of a better way. And given the time of year I decided to use A Christmas Story as my muse this time around. The movie was released in 1983 (how old do you feel right now?) and I would venture to guess I have seen it in its entirety roughly one hundred times. There is a lot of comedy packed into the screen for this wonderful story. In fact, that is why the movie works so well; it is a good story, period.

Let’s get it started.

“No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

Of course I will start with the movie’s signature line. It has been twenty-six years since this movie was released and I think that by now almost everyone on Earth would understand the reference if you were to recite that one line.

This quote makes me think about all the times in the past twelve months that I have given advice. So many times I have had someone ask my opinion on something, then I give them my opinion (or show them a reference to a Best Practices), only to have them do something that is the complete opposite. At that point I find myself thinking “you’ll shoot your eye out” and then I get to sit back and watch them shoot their eyes out.

Of course, sometimes it hurts to watch. But not always.

“[narrating] Oh, life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.”

This quote is perfect for the time I wrote about how thankful I was to not have to restore master only to find myself awake at 3AM restoring master. Of course there were other “disasters” spread throughout the year, not just in our shop but everywhere else as I am certain no one is immune to such events.

“What is the name of the Lone Ranger’s nephew’s horse? Ah… Victor! His name is Victor. How the hell did you know that? Everybody knows that!”

For all those times during the year that we get asked the most oddball questions, this quote seemed most fitting. How many times do you get asked something and if you don’t know the answer immediately then the follow-up question is “But aren’t you the DBA?” Most of what we do is a mystery to others. And for those that do have some idea often times their concept is slightly skewed because the definition of what a DBA does will change from one shop to another. That leads to assumptions being made about who-does-what or who-should-know-what, which leads to interesting questions.

Many times we are able to find the answers. And there are also times when we already know the answer which can lead to the occasional “how the hell did you know that?” Which shows how people are never satisfied whether we do or do not have the answers at hand.

“[narrating] Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle. Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski’s candy store! [narrating] They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.”

Have you ever found yourself trying to explain the worst-case scenario to someone in an effort to get them to see things your way? Maybe you don’t talk about the grizzly bears you saw by the coffee machine yesterday but instead say things like “no, having your data, logs, and backups all on the same physical drive is a bad thing, trust me.” Many times when you try to explain some database concepts (mem-to-leave is a good one) you can make your managers eye’s gloss over. At that point, having lobsters coming out of your ears would be something more comprehensible than whatever it is you are trying to explain.

“Oooh fuuudge!”

For all the inappropriate f-bombs I have dropped over the past twelve months. Mr. Parker is not the only one that can weave a tapestry of obscenities. I do a better job these days of curtailing my poor language, but I am not perfect. Buck Woody (@buckwoody) explained to me at PASS this year about how crude such language really is and I am making a focused effort on keeping it clean so that people don’t ask me “so, how long were you in the Navy?”

“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!”

When Ralphie realizes that all of his effort has resulted in nothing more than an advertisement he drops the unexpected SOB comment for a good laugh. It makes me think about the barrage of emails I get daily regarding a variety of products. Most of the times I know that they are advertisements, but every now and then I am enticed to check on one thing or another only to find out that I am being prompted to hand over some personal information in order to access a “free trial”. Hey, buddy, if it was free then I shouldn’t have to give you any information. My contact details have value to me, and that value is more than the unknown product you are trying to push. Thanks anyway, but you can keep your wonderful DB2 tuning product. Oh, and you might want to update your target market email list.

“HO… HO… HO… And what’s your name little boy? Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE’S CLOSING! Listen little boy, we have A LOT of people waiting here, so GET GOING!”

Deadlines. We all have them, and for some people their deadlines are the most urgent thing on their plate. This can lead to a similar situation as this quote; someone telling you to hurry up with a task. Chances are you are doing your best to get the task done but your customer is not as focused on your effort, they only care about the end result. I will talk about this in my upcoming book (you can check out http://dbasurvivor.com for all your pre-ordering needs).

“Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.”

This is for the recent influx of spam emails in different languages. The French Viagra ads are most entertaining, actually. I don’t know what list my email address is a part of these days, but apparently I am fluent in a dozen languages. Maybe I am SQL Jason Bourne?

“I can’t put my arms down! Well… put your arms down when you get to school.”

“[narrating] Getting ready to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep-sea diving.”

These two quotes work well for those times when you help someone get what they need but it is not what they want. Much like Randy, who really wants to be able to put his arms down, but it is more important for his mother to keep him warm while he walks to school. Trying to match needs and wants can be a difficult task, especially when two people disagree about the priority of the requirements. Ask Randy and he would say his requirement is to be able to put his arms down, followed by being warm. His mother has those same requirements, but they have been reversed.

How you reconcile things in your shop depends on how well you can communicate and mediate when disputes arise. Oh, and it also depends who is in charge. Probably more so than anything else.

“He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny. He does not! He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!”

For all the times over the past year when you have found yourself in a situation and would rather be anywhere else. It could be a customer of yours that is not happy that your advice means more work on their end. Or it could be a project of yours that you have lost interest in completing and you dread having to spend more time in a futile attempt to make some piece of technology sing and dance. We all like to be in control of the events that compose our daily lives but there are always going to be times when you find yourself in that pink bunny suit and wishing you were somewhere else.

“Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it’ll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya. Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything? He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy’s tongue off the track, because he couldn’t get it off.”

Another moment that makes this movie so memorable is the conversation and events that lead up to Flick sticking his tongue to the flagpole as a result of a triple-dog-dare. This reminds me of all the times when I have been asked a question, gotten help from the SQL community, and had that help essentially ignored because “what would those people know about SQL”? And then I get to watch someone stick their tongue to a flagpole even though I told them what would happen if they did.

Most of the time the result does not involve having the police and fire departments show up to the office. Most of the time.

“Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?”

To all the times I get to play with, or learn about, something new in SQL Server. I always find myself amazed at just how much there is to know about the products and their feature sets. And thankfully there is a lot more to learn about as well.

This quote also serves well for having been honored as a SQL MVP this year and my election to the PASS Board of Directors. Looking back on 2009 there are a lot of moments where I would have the same reaction as the above quote.

“Was there no end to the conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?”

For everyone who has jumped to a conclusion over the past twelve months. It can be hard to leave your prejudices behind when you are having discussions with others. You always want to rely on your experience in order to help you make sound decisions. But if your experience is “service here always sucks” then it is hard to leave that out of your decision making. We all suffer from some level of irrational prejudice from time to time. It is a hard habit to break. But if you are able to break away from it and you can enter into any discussion with the idea that you don’t have all the facts then you will start to find yourself swimming towards shore more often than just treading water.

[See post to watch Flash video]

And if you are looking to get me something special for the Holidays, look no further:

In fact, I am willing to wager that if you asked someone under the age of 25 which lite beer was first to market they would not have any idea about the answer. They also would have no idea about the Rheingold Girls, either. Has that hurt Miller Lite over time? Does Miller Lite still have the market share they once had? No, they don’t, but they are also not going out of business anytime soon. People are still buying their product, and new breweries continue to produce similar products. But the market is now saturated.

Earlier this year I was introduce to StackOverflow. Now, I typically despise forums and newsgroups, but SO was different enough for me to take a shine to it. I hung around for a while, looking to help others when I could, and it became a routine to check in with SO daily.

When ServerFault was launched I was mildly excited to be in on the ground floor of something new. ServerFault was being geared specifically for server administrators, including database administration. It was a natural place for me to gravitate, and I did…for a time. But what I found was that I was no longer going to SO, I was instead using SF exclusively. The reason for this is simple: because my time is limited. I do not have enough time for both, so I focused on the one felt had more value for me. And when my time became even more limited, I stopped using SF as well.

The guys that run SO have decided to whore out their technology to anyone else that wants to have a similar looking forum. Recently two new forums have been started. The first one I recall being announced was http://ask.sqlteam.com, and I registered as a user immediately. My thought process was “hey, this is even better than SF, because it is specific to SQL, and now I will be more inclined to spend time answering questions.” I guess I was thinking I would have some extra free time magically appear in order to allow for me to participate so I could help people with questions such as “why can I insert into a column that is defined as not null?”

It was not long after that forum was started that I was informed about a new forum format being offered over at SQL Server Central (http://ask.sqlservercentral.com). I registered there as well, still delusional that even more free time was coming my way so that I could now participate in both of these forums that are dedicated to SQL. And then it hit me.

I can’t do both. So, I need to choose. Which one will I use?

And I have no idea. I still don’t. In the meantime, I have not used any of the forums, because I have no idea where I should go. They all seem the same to me now. Where should I go to participate in discussions? Where should I go to learn new things? If I need an answer, where will I place a post myself?

This time, the answer was obvious. I’ll just go to my Wonder Twin Junior DBA’s; Google and Bing. And they can then direct me to the answers I seek. As for my participation answering questions in the forums? It will be sporadic at best. I simply do not have the time to participate in all of them, and cannot decide which ones I should even peruse. Which means I will not be active in any of them.

All these forums look alike. Now, does that cheapen the original forms, SO and even SF? If everyone with any niche starts creating similar forums, will people ever gravitate towards the originals? I guess so, after all people still purchase Miller Lite, right? Just as I cannot decide which forum to spend time in, I could not tell you which lite beer is the one to buy. Years ago, the choices may have been clear for some. Not anymore.

Such proliferation of SQL forums does not allow for me to make efficient use of my time. I need to make fewer stops during my day, not more. Perhaps what is needed is a forum that aggregates all the others, let’s call it Uber-SQL…wait, that’s what I use Google and Bing for already.

Forget I said anything.

(BONUS: The title of this blog post is from what movie?)

BTLC was directed by John Carpenter over twenty years ago. That guy was the Tiger Woods of cult classics between 1978 and 1988. It also helped that he teamed up with Kurt Russell for a handful of those movies. Did you know he directed Halloween, Escape From New York, and did a remake of The Thing in a four year span? The guy was on top of his game at the time and anything he touched turned to gold.

BTLC is still enjoyable to watch, over twenty years later. Part of the enjoyment is seeing actors that you recognize from other roles in the time since the movie was made.

So, here are some quotes and why they made me think it was perfect to write about a preview for the upcoming PASS Summit. You can search YouTube for more than a handful of clips if you want to relive some old times.

“This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there.”

The movie opens with Kurt Russel driving his truck through the rain and talking on his CB to, well, whomever. It quickly sets the tone for his character and the rest of the movie. To this day I simply cannot imagine anyone else in this role.

This line makes me think of the Welcome Reception, specifically the Quiz Bowl hosted by Tim Ford (blog | twitter) each year. Tim takes the stage and starts talking to whomever wants to listen. Just like Kurt starring as Jack Burton, I cannot imagine anyone else hosting the Quiz Bowl than Tim. I have been lucky enough to be in the audience as well as on stage (I won an iPod in Grapevine) and I also am familiar with how much effort Tim and Louis Davidson (blog | twitter) put into the show each year. I am still lobbying for a version of “SQL Match Game” to be played one of these years, complete with funky 70′s guitar riffs.

“Finally, we shall bring order out of chaos!”

There is an amazing amount of work done behind the scenes in order to bring the Summit to fruition. This past year I have been privy to a lot of the finer details as to what it takes to get a conference of this size up and running. For the better part of the year it can seem to many as if it is a chaotic experience, to say the least. But in the last two weeks you get to witness how there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that everything is going to go smoothly during the actual event. Well, it seems that way, at least.

“Somebody, I don’t care who, tell me, what is going on!”

This line goes out to the ambassadors, a handful of volunteers who put on Wal-Mart vests and stand in the middle of the hallway to help direct people. Need to know what sessions are happening now? Ask an ambassador. Need to know where a specific session is taking place? Ask an ambassador. Need to know where to find the Exhibit Hall, or lunch? Ask an ambassador.

“There are many mysteries, many unanswerable questions, even in a life as short as yours.”

The content in the sessions at PASS is top shelf, as are the presenters. You will find yourself sitting in a session, learning something new, and wondering to yourself things like “How can I apply this in my shop?”, or “I wonder if we have this same problem in my shop right now?” You will also have the opportunity to ask questions of some of the best SQL minds on the planet. You can ask them about something that has been driving you crazy for months and usually get some feedback on how to go about solving your issue.

[walking outside in the rain] “A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack. Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain!”

It’s November. In Seattle. Do I need to draw you a picture? One time there was a vendor that gave away mini umbrellas. Have no fear, though, you can do quite a bit without getting very wet. In most cases, it is just a light mist or drizzle, and not a downpour or even steady rain. Still, you get to decide for yourself if you want to be brave or wise.

“This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.”

My week is packed full of events and sessions. I am double booked more than a few times. I will often find myself in the middle of a session and will suddenly remember I was supposed to be somewhere else. At night there is usually a handful of events to attend and I try my best to make an appearance at as many as possible. It all comes down to organizational skills and crackerjack timing.

“We may be trapped.”

The content at PASS is fantastic and often times your have to choose between two (or more) sessions to attend. Sometimes you think to yourself “Hey, I can attend the start of one session and the end of another.” So, you head over to one session and grab the only seat you can find. Unfortunately it is a seat at the end of the aisle, against the wall, in the middle of the room. And if you want to get up then you are going to disturb everyone around you as well as the speaker. Yeah, you can feel trapped. But don’t worry, you can get all the content later on by ordering one of the DVD’s.

“Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

This is exactly how you feel when you are in a packed session. You have little room to move and will be very close to your neighbor. Chances of using your laptop effectively? Almost impossible. Even if you have the elbow room, you most likely don’t have any power. Bring a pen and some paper to take notes. And some breath mints. You’re welcome.

“Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.”

There is always something to do at night during the Summit. Some of the events are PASS events, some are vendor events, and some are just you heading out with some friends. Seattle is a safe city, you should feel comfortable walking around even at night. But it would never be a bad idea to have a buddy system no matter what your destination. And if your buddy can sing karaoke, even better.

[tapping on the walls] “Two, three feet thick, I’ll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside, and covered with brick by now. Don’t give up, Jack! Oh, okay, I won’t, Wang! Let’s just *chew* our way outta here!”

This exchange is dedicated to the food at PASS. From the hot lunches and great table conversation to the cookies at snack time. About the only thing I could wish for would be more bacon. I may pack my own for the trip. With the food comes the conversations with other professionals during lunch. I look forward to having lunch (and breakfast) with as many different people as possible this year.

“This is just so shocking. I mean I must just be so monumentally naive.”

That is how a lot of people feel about session materials when they are unfamiliar with the topic being discussed. It can be overwhelming to sit in on a session, finding it hard to follow the speaker, and thinking that you are the only one in the room that doesn’t “get it”. You will be harder on yourself than you will be on the speaker, and you will more than likely be apprehensive to ask any stranger next to you “hey, buddy, do you have any idea what is going on here?” Or it could be the case that you are being taught something so well that you sit there in stunned silence wondering if you can quickly contact people back at your shop to warn them about a potential issue of which you were just made aware.

“And now, my beloved disciples. The moment of truth… the needle of love.”

This line made me think about all the tattoo parlors in Seattle. It also makes me think about how last year I promised to get a tattoo if I was elected to the PASS Board of Directors. I wasn’t, and therefore I left Seattle sans ink. And since the elections ended early this year I was not tricked into making a similar promise again. But if you are on the fence about getting yourself a tattoo you can certainly find a parlor nearby.

“Well, ya see, I’m not saying that I’ve been everywhere and I’ve done everything, but I do know it’s a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we’re all alone in THIS universe.”

If there is one thing you will find at PASS it is other database professionals just like yourself. No matter what your current skill level (except perhaps Paul Randal) you will be able to find others that are at your same evel. I know how easy it is to think that the issue you face daily are unique to your shop. But after a few conversations at PASS you start to understand how you are not all alone as a database professional. PASS is where you start building your network, a network of colleagues that you can collaborate with throughout the year.

“Like I told my last wife, I says, ‘Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.’”

There is a lot going on at the Summit next week. You can easily find yourself awake for 18 hours or more each day. If you do not pace yourself you will be dragging by Wednesday. You need to stay sharp and stay focused. Oh, and stay awake during the sessions. You never know when you are going to have to hustle to a session, or to the Exhibit Hall for some swag, or to the snack table to grab a cookie. Believe me, you need good reflexes around that snack table.

“I was *born* ready.”

No matter what your skill level you should head into sessions with confidence in your abilities. You may not be the most senior person in the room, but even senior administrators have questions. If you have a question, then ask. Ask the speaker. Ask the person next to you. Be confident in yourself and do not be afraid to ask for clarification on something, anything, that you want to learn more about. Many people are afraid to ask qustions for fear that people will think less of them or their abilities. We are all here to connect, learn, and share with each other. And the only way to do that is if people communicate with each other. So, be confident, and ask.

“Everybody relax, I’m here.”

No doubt that quote speaks volumes about Blythe Morrow (twitter). She will be at the PASS booth along with the “gang” from PASS HQ that will include Kate, Craig, Elena, Sanj, and Hannes. And David will be in the back room holding all the IT stuff together for everyone. And I cannot forget Judy. In short, PASS HQ will be there to help everyone and anyone, so we can all relax.

“What does that mean, huh? “China is here?” I don’t even know what the hell that means!”

I have been lost and confused in more than one session in my life. When I get confused I tend to ask my neighbor if they understand what is going on. I am not bashful when it comes to displaying my ignorance on something.

“I feel good, and I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of . . . kind of invincible . . . Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?”

This quote is dedicated to everyone that is getting ready to present a session at the Summit this year. I presented the past two years and I know what it feels like as you get yourself prepared to speak. You go through a wide range of emotions. You will feel nervous, anxious, and even a little confused as you hurriedly try to get your laptop configured to work with the projector. And if the previous speaker has not broken down their stuff because of too many questions, that makes your time even shorter (by the way, if people are asking you questions, it is fine for you to answer them while breaking down your stuff in order to let the next speaker get set up, because that is what you would want a speaker to do for you as well).

Anyway, you go through all sorts of emotions, and you can even be confident about your upcoming talk, but most people are always a tad nervous just before they speak, resulting in that “is it hot in here” moment.

“I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.”

Chances are you will be dazzled by some demo done at the keynotes. Last year it was the processing of a 1.7 TB cube in less than a minute. One year it was a demo of this thing they called SQL Fabric. I can also remember a demo of what is now called Policy Based Management and I remember how it seemed so advanced (and now it feels so mundane). The point here is that you will see things at PASS that will dazzle you. It could be during the keynote, during a session, or while you visit some of the vendor booths.

For me the thing that has dazzled me the most in all my time attending PASS would have to be last year when Donald Farmer was sending out tweets while standing backstage. About a dozen of us in the audience were interacting with Donald in real-time, which allowed him to alter his demonstration in order to make it more effective for everyone. It was a great experience and showed just how valuable Twitter (and PASS) has become for me professionally.

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: ‘Have ya paid your dues, Jack?’ ‘Yes sir, the check is in the mail.’”

PASS membership is free, you can save the stamp. No need to send a check. There are no annual dues. All you need to do is visit the website and fill out a form. It’s that easy.

So, there you go. Now I am thinking we should have a Movie Night at PASS where I can just screen some of my favorite cult classics and we can all sit around to discuss as if it was one big MST3K.

Something awesome

You’re welcome.